Anyone here ever experienced it? I sure don't know what to call this funk I'm in, but burnout seems to fit quite nicely. I'm not quite sure how this post is going to go, so if you want to save yourselves from self pity and wallowing, you may want to turn around now.
There's nothing really wrong with my job, but I can't get my head around it any more. I can't beleive I possibly have burnout after seeing my coworkers struggle with lower volumes of work while I seemed to breeze through my projects. I think it's a stress thing. I keep a lot of things very close to me and while they might not be on the forefront of my mind, they all add up in the back of my head. Usually riding my bike hard and working myself into a pulp is my way of coping. It's just not going to work anymore though.
I've operated for a long time on the cusp of risk/reward. Walking that tightrope seems to be the key I have for making my projects profitable. I wait until the last moment before squeezing the trigger and getting stuff done. For those not familiar with construction, the general rule seems to be that you always are behind the eight ball in regards to time and schedule. While I know it pisses some people off and makes it look like I'm in a constant state of chaos, it's proven profitable. It seems there isn't much money to be made in getting stuff done early. It's weird how that works and I don't profess to even understand it. The problem really lies when you know you've lost your edge and are falling into the backside of being too late. I'm there. I can't lie and say that thoughts of just walking away haven't crept inside my head, but I'm not that type of person. I do think it's pretty imperative that I find a change here though or it won't be long before the type of person I am comes into direct conflict with maintaining my sanity.
I sent an email off to my boss last night letting him know I was in trouble. I hate that. I'm not the guy to ask for help with things. I'm usually the guy everyone else asks and I help when I can. Maybe it's time for a change. Anyone know of a good paying job that a guy with a business degree and mostly construction management/estimating experience can transition into (that doesn't deal with construction)? It's time to sit down with my boss this morning and have a serious discussion of what I'm going to be doing here. Enjoy your Friday the 13th.