I hope you're ready for some venting.
Some of this is my own doing, some of it is life. Have you ever felt like you're in the middle of an avalanche and known there was nothing you could do but hang on for the ride? I'm there baby!
I'm doing everything, but doing nothing well. I'm not sure what to give up on, what to put more effort into, and where to turn. I think my first step is talking things over with my lovely wife and see what things we can team up on. My biggest hurdle is going to be with work. I have a huge tidal surge or projects piling in front of me and every day something new from one of the projects adds to the height of the wave that's ready to come crashing down any time. I've asked for help, but there's none available. It just means I have to dig deeper, work smarter/harder, and for longer.
That's the very beginning of my crux. If I dig into this work which pays for our lifestyle including my wife being a stay at home mom, it means I have to ditch on being there for them as a good husband and father. If I work harder on being a better husband and father, I have to spend more time with them as I'm severely lacking in giving them any quantity and the quality isn't anything to write home about either. Throw in the fact that I like to have some me time on the bike just to keep my sanity and my time is more than gone. Of course we can't forget about our burgeoning lingerie business, a custom engine that needs to be built, my own project car, friends, side projects, and everything else that goes along with life as well.
It's shaping up to be a spring and summer from hell in regards to the amount of work I have to absorb and process. If I had an option open to jump ship, I'd seriously be looking that direction. I take pride in making money for the company I work for and making the most from each project I run. When I see a challenge like this looming, I just see mistakes and money going down the drain as I hop from issue to issue so fast, I don't get to analyze or make decisions based on costs, but time management. It's not good for me. It stresses me, it hurts my productivity, and makes me like my job less and less. Being the top earner has it's perks, but it also has it's downfalls. As Squirrel has now permanently inked on his body, it's time to "Suck it up!"
If you don't hear from me as often as I'd like, I'm sorry. If I don't be the husband or father I want to be, I'm sorry. If I seem like I'm in a hurry to go somewhere else when I'm talking to you, I'm sorry. This summer is going to be rough. Wish me luck.